Hawaii 2010

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Time Share Hell

I have spent a great deal of time studying the relationship between time and eternity. Yesterday I learned that I willingly signed a contract that is binding for all eternity.

With many tricky persuasions, including a free vacation and an expensive dinner. I bought an every other year timeshare on Kauai, Hawaii, USA in June of 2001. It was two bedrooms so I could share it with my kids. Long story short, I have never received a two bedroom vacation in trade, and never had a chance to get anywhere near a beach in any other resort in the last four even years. I had caught a lot of hell from my wife for this purchase, Literally, brothers, hot, painful recrimination.

Yesterday a portly salesmen came to my house to remind me that I would be paying maintenance fees until I die, and so would my children and their children and their children for all eternity. Its a contract you see, and even though they have never honored their deal with me, even though they cashed my check to pay for it, they will use their skill to keep the money flowing for all eternity, literally brother and sisters, hear me, hear my warning from the pit of time share hell. Tell your children, do not buy a timeshare.

So yesterday the fellow offered me the new enlightened time share salvation called points, my company will give you points for guaranteed happy vacations to honor said eternal contract, but you must sign up today, brother, do not leave this kitchen without changing your eternal time share destiny. How shall I be saved? I pleaded.......write me a check for $3000 dollars and your're in heaven, forever.
Thanks, but no thanks, we said, from our beach property in Hell.

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