Sunday, January 18, 2009
For better or worse, even if its your husbands fault
This blog is by me but not about me this week, and the Lord and I have long settled this next period of our life. But I got very discouraged and had a lot of "is this all there is to ministry" thoughts.....and I quit, I walked away, I resigned with no real visible next step.
Long story short, we became very poor and struggled for three years to survive. I did lots of things to put food on the table and we lived in two homes and I ran completely out of money. We were surrounded by happy wealthy people and we were broke and it put a strain on everything.
Even though it was my fault and God used it, Laura never quite warmed up to the way Christians are, and never followed my lead with quite as much enthusiasm. I accept the way our wounds haunt and affect our future. I live with it, and God is greater than all our sin and foul ups.
We had seven great years after those three rough years, and that was a God thing. Through it all she loved me and raised our kids with compassion, but one night while bathing the kids the window stuck in the crappy small rental house and she let out her frustration and banged the window, and ended up in the emergency room with stitches.....yep, it was that kind of trial.
Photographic postscript: Matthew dropped my Ricoh 35mm SLR on its head in 1980. I had a series of inexpensive cameras throughout the late 80s, and started printing them. And they now lie dormant in a huge box, all mixed up and bent from the kids digging through them. So from 83 until my first digital, I have no history to show, unless I decide to get good scanner. Sheesh.