Talkin bout my Generation

Tomorrow marks the 40th anniversary (Sunday wise) of my ordination to preach and minister the gospel. I have mentioned it more times than anyone has interest in hearing, but here goes one more observation.

On June 27th, 1967 I had a spiritual moment of faith that changed my life and set me in the direction of preparing to be a minister. On June 27th, 1976 I was ordained in an evening service of my first congregation, nine years to the day, and one week before our nations 200th Birthday on July 4th, 1976.

I am the same man who bent the knee that night to have hands laid upon me and to be set apart for the gospel. I am not the same man as well, I have grizzled and battle scarred and wounded and blessed and honored to make it four decades, one genea, one generation.

I have sensed His loving presence through it all. I have felt abandoned at times when my enemies came from within the camp. I have spent most of my life in constant internal dialogue with God and with the things I diligently study, and through all the many experiences of life spent interacting with members of the body of Christ.

Many times I desperately wished I had chosen another career. Many times I was thankful that I was chosen for this. I shall observe it quietly, and then get on with the blessings of the second half of life, when I am older, wiser, more patient, slower, and overwhelmed each day with grace, beauty, and love.

Old Christians and New Ideas

One of our newer leaders made a casual remark on my last week at work about the emphasis in my ministry especially the last several years. He kind of smirked and spoke as if I had lost my marbles a bit.

He is right. There are so many dismally negative gospels floating around the evangelical world and I have walked near or through them all. When, as the result of a long and deep reconsideration of the nature of God and the Gospel, especially with the presence of the Allah violence, I began to see things in the depths of the word that made easy answers seem less than honoring to the truth.

But after a lifetime of hearing the same tune, most people are confused by the openness and beauty of the Gospel of Grace. The fact that my own life changing study changed the way I think, I react, and my perceptions of those outside the visible church, I found myself realizing that no matter how slowly I introduced change, these sweet moral saints still thought I was loosing my marbles. At least most of them. Some began to see what I was getting at, and how important this was to the world at this point in our struggle.

If I am to continue teaching, I have to process this and find an interest level that does not require fracturing well built world views. I could, on the other hand, just enjoy life and let the reformation continue with me on the sidelines.

Lasts and Firsts

The bow tie look of the youngest child...me. Oneonta NY, 1959.

Last night I completed my last Bible Study as Pastor of Sun Lakes Community Church, 10 days until the office is empty and I embark on the post full time pastor part of my life. I am not retiring, I am teaching outside the institution. I fulfilled a commitment I made decades ago to be a pastor all my life. Now the pastor part will be voluntary, and the teacher part will be in the freedom to depart from the traditional concepts of my church family, if need and conscience lead me that way.

People always have said that most denominations agree on 95% of the doctrines of the Bible. Maybe, but there are times when the prevailing traditions have become disharmonious with the message that the church needs to be awakened. If my time left allows me to be a small part of clearing the air, then I will be thankful.

Is Our Nation facing possible collapse, the end of constitutional democracy?

I hope not, I pray the resilience and memory of the functioning of a free country that thrives on good will, liberal charity, and hard work to produce better goods and services has been so much of a blessing to generations. I just find it hard to believe we could let this go in our blindness and mistaken ideologies.

On Visiting a New Church for the first time

An older picture of our visit to a guava factory ten years ago.

I had a Sunday off and was not sure if I would play hookey or attend worship. We met a couple at the movie theatre Friday and talked about our churches so I decided to visit a fellowship in my original denomination.

Twelve year old church plant, two services, soft rock bank, good message on the importance of Scripture, weekly communion, good coffee.

In many ways this man accomplished what I had hoped to do when I came here 26 years ago. He built a strong congregation that is learning, serving, and prospering. They even did something in communion that split a couple of churches in my generation by having a mixture of wine and grape juice. I guess these controversies tend to work themselves out.

I have long ago come to peace about the troubles I had when I moved west with two young church plants. Other than the possibility that I was never destined to start a church from scratch I would say that my efforts to reorganize stalled church plants was far riskier than coming and starting something new. It was the built in conflicts that already exited that did me in, plus, I freely admit, way too much effort to conciliate warring factions. If I had it to do again, I would have ushered a few trouble makers out the door. But I did not and now it is history.

The good news is that survived and grew and even found wonderful knowledge and freedom in the decades that followed. However, when I see a healthy young church functioning in unity of purpose, I feel a bit of betrayal and abandonment. Why not me, why was my path a path of division?

Then I pray to let it go, and to be thankful for the second half of my ministry, in mostly healthy situation, and even the further conflicts I realize are problems that plague the whole evangelical movement, both arminian and calvinist. There may be further answers and understandings that we may have missed, that may have been covered by centuries of error, and then I thank God that if I am failing and falling, I am actually falling upward.

A New Trajectory

An untended burial ground in the industrial complex in Kauai.

I am retiring as Pastor of Sun Lakes Community Church at the end of June. It coincides with my completion of 40 years as a minister ordained to preach, and 49 years as a follower of the Lord. This 35 year old congregation has had five pastors and I am the first who will continue to live here. There was one pastor who lived here and stepped up to serve for a time, but I came here to serve and at least for the forseeable future Sun Lakes will be our home.

Health issues are the primary reason I am moving on, and a desire to do some other things with the time I have left is the second reason. I will still preach when asked, will always be in conversation and teaching and learning with those who I am in fellowship with after we step away from this place of service.

We have been thinking through the various issues of retirement and dealing with the questions and the uncertainties. We know its time for me, and since I am three years older than Laura, she will probably continue her career for one or two more years. We will see. Forty years passed by quickly. "Time like an ever rolling stream bears all its sons away" Here's hoping I have some good years ahead.

Given the upheavals in the world spiritually, politically, and socially, it's a good thing to step back from trying to speak to people trying to navigate the uncertainties and just work on my own search for beauty, truth, hope and peace.

Life change in sight

My young family when we had less mileage.

I am approaching 40 years of ordained ministry, June 27, 1976-June 27, 2016, and have set the course for a course change. mixture of healthy concern and anticipation of choosing where my ministry will focus in my next stage of life no matter how long or short, and of course having more time for travel, recreation, writing, living.

Will turn 66 Lord willing this July 13, not young, not old, plenty of energy left for other directions should my life be extended.

The new concepts should enliven the old foundations

The Grand Hyatt has such beautiful grounds and we are so glad they share it with any who come for drinks, dinner and music.

I can no more speak and act the way I did when I was beginning my teaching career than I could turn back timee. Yet many things I say would sound the same or similar. With experience and the freedom to play outside the established boxes so many wonderful truths become like new, fresh every morning. This is the secret of my present passion. I am adding new ideas that are making my understandings more joyful, more hopeful, more energized.

Another Farewell

Over 40 years of marrying and burying and it never gets easy, although my appreciation of the process of grieving and celebrating have developed over the years. Phyliss was over 80 but the last seven years involved the loss of memory in the disease called Alzheimer's.

Earlier in the week my visit with a loyal husband caring for his failing wife allowed me to experience the presence and absence of cognitive ability up close. My heart breaks for those dealing with this.

Back Home from Sedona

I drove down the mountains early this morning after three nights and two days in Oak Creek and Sedona. It was quiet and restful and fun and sort of productive in a started but not yet finished way. I love getaways and what they feel like and produce in my heart.

This highly rated Bed and Breakfast has such a charming back patio for resting, viewing birds and hummingbees galore, and the vistas that were breathtaking. I thank God for a good friend who shared his blessings with me this week.

Back at work

Laura needed a jacket on the pier in San Clemente last week, its 110 in Phoenix today, and that is a contrast.

I had Sunday off and decided to attend the church that exists on the property that I served from 1995-2002. The Calvary Chapel there has added two buildings but they received quite a gift from what was Grace Community Church. It was such a treat for me to see what we built being used so effectively, although if we had handled a few things better is would still be a community church and I may have ended my career there instead of here in Sun Lakes. I am fully OK with the way it turned out and the pain and gain we went through during that time in our lives.

A Big Celebration

First Presbyterian Church of Crystal Springs Mississippi will celebrate 150 years of organization this weekend. A post war church plant, post Civil War! I am sure no charter members will be there. We were there as pastoral leaders from 1976 through 1980, had two of our three children there, and had some happy times getting used to living next to the place I worked.

I had some hard time getting used to the way good old southern folks thought and acted in small town southern America, but for the most part we were surrounded by loving and kind people and had some happy memories to cherish from our time there.

When I was a "little" Pastor

Crystal Springs, MS

The first congregation I served just announce an anniversary Sunday. They organized at the end of the war...the Civil War! 150 years ago. They had a wall of pictures of all the former pastors when I was there that was scary, and I was on the wall after I left.

I learned alot about the church in those four plus years, and I often dream about that congregation. We had our first two children in that place. Most were kind and loving to us. Gladys Wallace would introduce me around town with the phrase, "I would like to introduce you to our new little pastor". After a while I told her that at 6 ft and 200 lbs I was not little. It was a quaint colloquilism that came to represent to me what the tragedy of cultural Christianity is all about. They have made God a small part of their lives. Could I introduce you to my little God?

The men were the ones whose faith seemed like an uncomfortable suit they had to put on an hour a week. I would often see them heading for the golf course after going home and changing cloths while we were still visiting people in front of the church.

We are thinking about attending, We left 35 years ago and some of the young ones are now the old ones. I still resonate with the title of a book by Francis Shaeffer, No little people, No little places.

Two Days in Rocky Point Mexico

Two three folks to join the large two church crowd finish the Amor Ministry build. There is something very special about these weekends, the young and old folks appreciating each other and working side by side, the bridge between language and culture, and the loving are caring going on all over the place while we change the lives of three people forever.

The Weekend for Special Times

Yeah Valentine's Day, Presidents Day, Mardi Gras Weekend. Lot's of celebratin going on. We enjoy Dixieland music on Sunday, and just sent a group to Rocky Point Mexico for the weekend.

An Evening in Holland

We celebrated the Dutch Heritage at our church fellowship dinner last night. Enjoyed the youth ensemble from Valley tChristian High School.
Seeing young people perform and remembering you were once in high school fills you with hope and memories. Loved their songs from Beauty and the Beast and Sound of Music.

Fizzing like champaign after the cork is popped!

I had a group of men meet today to allow me to make suggestions about the future of our church. This is something I think about all the time and put some ideas on paper this summer about, but as I began to lay the dreams I have dreamed before them I felt like a man who had been set free from a long furlow. I felt like I was allowed to explain why I speak and teach the way I do. We barely got started, but it felt good.

35th Anniversary Banquet

We are a relatively young,old church. By that I mean from day one we were old, as in reaching a retirement community. But 35 is relatively young for a church. They have had five pastors who stayed from four to seven years, and me who is going on 12 years. I was a young pastor to the old folks when I came here at 53, now I am an aging pastor to old people. Confused yet? I am.

The amazing thing is that we had some charter members who have been here the whole 35 years, meaning they were old when the church was young and now they are very old and have been here from the beginning 35 years ago, which means they have been retired for 35 plus years. Amazing.

It was a good time of remembrance and music.

A Missions Aviation Day

New Tribes Mission cannot do their work without effective short strip airplanes. We viewed two Kodiak 8 passenger planes by Quest and some Cessna's and helicopters used by very dedicated families who desire to take the gospel to places and among peoples that have never had mission influence.

A day at Rainbow Acres

Ralph's second book used the word "retarded" in the title. The word was deemed unacceptable and hurtful and has been replaced by the words "developmentally disabled". Adults you are unable to function as adults usually lead lonely lives. The vision of Rainbow Acres was a campus home with stimulating activities, busy schedules and spiritual development.

It is after forty years and lots of fundraising, a model campus with new comfortable group homes and apartments for high functioning individuals who often have jobs in town.

The staff is loving and gifted, each rancher has his or her own needs understood, the group dynamics are as great as they could be for these fortunate residents. We are blessed to be part of it.